Three of my friends will be bridesmaids in the coming year.  They have been coming to me for advice on their roles as bridesmaids and the amount of time, money, and resources they should be putting toward the wedding.  Though I act as the resident “bridal expert” among my friends, their concerns made me consider how the role of the bridesmaid is developing nowadays as wedding trends develop and change.  So, I did some research.

During the wedding planning, the bride is certainly the one in charge.  Her decisions are the most important ones because, after all, it is her wedding day.  But, there can be a balance between the bride’s expectations of her bridesmaids and their contributions.  To begin with, depending on the level of comfort and expectations, it may be useful for the bride (or the wedding planner) to send out a list of what she would like each bridesmaid to contribute.  (For a list of traditional bridesmaid duties, visit http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx?MsdVisit=1).  Then, if the bridesmaids have any concerns, they can address them early in the wedding planning process.  Some issues my friends have faced have been their abilities to afford their wedding attire (especially since they are college students or recent graduates) and their uncertainty about what the bride expects in terms of hair, shoes, gifts, and pre-wedding celebrations.  Sending a list of expectations helps the bridesmaids plan accordingly, and if financial issues arise, the bride (or planner) and maid may be able to discuss payment options or new attire choices.

Though it has become commonplace to justify buying a bridesmaid’s dress by saying it can be “shortened and worn again” in the future, we all know this rarely happens.  However, David’s Bridal has Two-piece bridesmaid dresses from David’s Bridal http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category_-49998972made two-piece bridal fashions quite attractive.  With a stylish top to go with a floor-length skirt, the bridesmaids can wear the tops again and again.  Bridesmaids may also feel better about the dress choices when their shapes and skin tones are taken into account.  A recent trend is letting each bridesmaid choose their own style of dress in the same color and fabric as the other maids.  When shopping for bridesmaid dresses, though, it is best to only bring along one or two people.  If the entire bridal party comes, many opinions may become overwhelming, and feelings can get hurt.  However if the initial shopping endeavor consists of just the bride and maid of honor or wedding planner, the color and style of dresses can be decided upon before getting the other bridesmaids’ inputs.

Finally, a great way to say thank you for all of the work the bridesmaids have contributed is with an attendant gift.  Though the traditional piece of jewelry to be worn on the wedding day is always nice, a more personalized gift can mean so much more.  Some ideas for attendant gifts include magazine subscriptions, scrapbooks, or a gift card and a day of shopping.

As a bride, however, never forget why you asked your attendants to be part of your wedding.  They are important people in you and your husband-to-be’s life, and it is important to remember that throughout the planning process.  Handle your wedding as you have handled other celebrations in your lives, and enjoy spending this time with your friends.  It can be an amazing experience for all!