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A Wedding for Two

Remembering the reason for the season when it comes to planning your wedding

As I debated about what to write about this week, the ideas seemed to be streaming in from all angles, and my passion for weddings started, for the first time, to overwhelm me.  But, driving down the highway this afternoon, listening to “The Great Mate Debate” on my favorite radio station, an idea came to me.  The couple on the radio program was planning their wedding and was staunchly set in their ways about their individual visions for the event.  The bride-to-be wanted a very traditional wedding while her fiancé envisioned a wilder party.  The debate became so heated that I had to change the channel, but it got me thinking about compromise and groom inclusion in the wedding planning.  Though many girls may dream of the “perfect wedding” all their lives, there can never be a wedding without that other half, and this relationship, of course, is the reason for the celebration in the first place.  So, what is a couple to do when the visions for the wedding differ?  Below are a few ideas I came up with:

1. Send your hubby-to-be to http://www.groomsonline.com/.  Here he can browse through honeymoon ideas, learn wedding etiquette, and become excited about the wedding planning process!
2. For a more relatable personal story, visit http://www.benthegroom.com/.  Ben, a recent proposer, discusses his tips for appeasing and helping his future wife as well as making sure the wedding planning goes as smoothly as possible and creating an event that reflects the couple rather than just one person’s tastes.
3. Bring the groom along to meetings with your coordinator.  If the coordinator hears both of your ideas, she’ll be able to incorporate as much as possible into one event that reflects what you both envision.A groom’s cake demonstrating his hobbies http://www.creativecelebrations.org/
4. Incorporate a groom’s cake.  Whether your wedding is traditional or eccentric, the groom’s cake can be a reflection of his tastes while many other aspects of the wedding may be more reflective of the bride’s visions.  And, if you are worried about the oddity of a cake that contrasts other wedding décor, find comfort in the fact that the groom’s cake is actually a traditional wedding inclusion that dates back to the 17^th century.
5. Give the groom specific wedding-related jobs.  Whether he is enthusiastic about the planning or would rather take a backseat, encourage him to use his skills and likes to make the wedding a reflection of the two of you.  Perhaps he is a wiz with a computer.  Ask him to create the map to the ceremony to be sent out with the invitations.  Or, maybe he is a wine connoisseur.  Ask him to finalize the drink selections.  Whatever his talents, find a way to incorporate them into the wedding planning, and he will not only have contributed, but he will have further promoted a wedding theme with “Us” all over it.

Last but not least, remember the reason for the season.  A wedding is a celebration.  In the end, it is about you two and your love.  It is about your decision to live with the one person you are meant to be with and your joy in finding that person.  It is not about the color schemes and the music choices any more than the colors and music are a reflection of your relationship, and keeping this in mind, remember to compromise.  Listen, talk, and enjoy!